Evey person needs to be congratulated sometime. Whether they can handle that or how they may handle the methods of praise depends very much on who they are, where they feel uncomfortable at, what level and that thing the congratulations are for.
You see there are as many positive responses as negative ones. What is normal for one person is not the same for another.
Let’s use an example one of my own.
Every day of my life is seen through an artistic view of life. Simply as I am autistic. I am also female and in my mid-fifties who has been online for fifteen years. Over that time, people I thought were genuine were not. So we will add that to the mix as well.
Although speaking to a few of their ‘nome de plum” has helped me evenly there is a certain restrained set of reactions now in place. Behaviour management therapies are all very well and good. However, people are caught off guard at times, and that off guard phase is what makes us all different. How do you reach when something unexpected is excited stated to you?.
Needless to say, there are things that over the years I have found that both my mind and body are more and more sensitive too. Rather than bore you with the details I will explain this another way.
Someone that I have known for a while stated they were coming to this country to visit. Well the basic ‘on me’ reaction would have been “really. fantastic. What time..” and all a rush for the details. Fine with that right. In the standard would that should have occurred.
However my world then was rational to me. I froze. My brain went calm. Nothing to be afraid of in that response. However, while my inner child was calmly standing there absorbing this beautiful statement. Totally trusting this person. Where normally she would be diving for over, meanwhile viewing and running through the checklist … there they were waiting at the other end of the Skype call. Time past. There was no disturbance within me.
Other people on the Autism Spectrum may understand what I am ‘reporting’ here. Sensory overload is the ‘bain’ of the Autistics life. Meltdowns or Overload are to be avoided. Strange how though once this calm pivot is realised so much more is just bubbling up and with a careful note that whatever is being done. That other person is not a threat. If they can get you to this point in your life, then they genuinely have breached so many defences that are in a place where they have you in the palm of their hands.
The spontaneously, joy, laughter, just the grace of allowing every single one of the Universal Laws to flow through you is about to happen. You now the uplifting effect that will be there. You know what it is that will occur. They have literally and genuinely stated, done, been and seen you through so much and so many ups, downs and spin around. Went the point of became occurs it leaves the other person flabbergasted. They are unprepared.
The funnel goes here
Well no matter how old you are the thing I have realised is that when you finally find out who you are, eventually find out that both that inner child on one scent of the sea see along with the counterweight the survival part of the brain, when these finally have that pivotal balance the other person who has brought you to this point in your life should be congratulated. How though can you know how to warn them not to expect the typical neurotypical response. if you have before felt it?
Why am I sharing this with you? The reason is this. Behaviour management tools developed and experienced by many. Yes. Even with relaxation processes learned…like Yoga and alternative health practices do not prepare you for that moment. They certainly do not make the other person on the receiving end either.
So I ask you to help your person n the Autism Spectrum to know that as they experience the perfectly natural balance to enjoy the experience. People who are neuro-typical need to feel the power, the energy, appreciate that maybe, just maybe they have not caused distress. In fact, the tightrope has become a perfect balance within the life path. Just to wait and enjoy the peace that if they realise what is happening will surround each person involved and carry them somewhere beautiful.
Whichever you are, a neuro-typical or an Autistic, if you can accept this as happened then there is no stopping you as the world is your oyster.
However if the neuro-typical does not realise the reaction for what it is and is hanging on for the autistic person to have a neuro-typical gush reaction, then there is something not being understood. It is easier maybe when not online. Online sucks as there is no touch involved. One cannot just hold the other person and share the experience of inclusive peace. Of the world being right. Both inside and outside. Every sense, every sound, every movement is not so much dead end. It more a feeling of total calmness. Total awareness. The world and the smallest of particles just shimmers and glows. Lighting up the world within like the Aurora Australis. Or if you’re in the northern hemisphere the Aurora Borealis. So what the other person is actually witnessing is the ethereal show within. An electric performance that likes the external counterparts that people once thought were portents of doom the right balance combination and these become for them a remarkable maybe even a common phenomena. As though the Universal Laws electrons flow between for the energy to be gained that that unlock remove that final door from the hinges. Leaving the door to do what it may while the walls of resistance fall away.
I have felt something very similar to being within the Aurora Australis. In 1991, I had a truck implode on my vehicle. That beautiful place I experienced was light, quiet, whole, still and totally something to ‘die for’. [sorry had to put that in” Maybe a better term is just out of this world or heavenly???
To have had that experience repeat not once, but several times through the same person was something special I will never forget. They simply have always raised me up to more than I thought I could be.The days and weeks that followed everything seem to have light reflecting particles allowing everything to have an awareness of the inner glow. Totally distracting and yes there was a need to observe the inner child and the survival mode having fun together. Nothing got done that was meant to be done. The vibration rate of the smallest particle was looked upon in awe. The physical, emotional and interaction being that was and is me was altered.
One thing that altered, and took some getting used to, was the way that I now write. No longer do I need to fit in. To feel the need to write as others do. I am me. That is the gift they have perfectly given me when the world within was calm.
To that person, you have my heartfelt thanks. That is going on the “needs to be congratulated” section in my bucket list